Why me? Why now?

I have decided to start a blog. My friend Aubrey inspired me. Aubrey, who those of you who are not Aubrey will not know, had the same internship that I did, has the same birthday as I do, is in the same major as I am (albeit more sneakily), and owns the same Shakespeare anthology as I are (the pervious word is abandonment of grammar and sense in favor of style). She is effectively me with pink polka dots. This is not to say that she has a skin condition that gives her pink polka dots it simply means that if you take me subtract everything that is antithetical to pink polka dots as an institution and add a comparable amount of essence of pink polka dots you would have an extremely puzzled Aubrey. She will be puzzled because to be alchemically created by a stranger out of a person you used to know is a fundamentally puzzling experience. If you reverse the experiment and create me out of Aubrey then (a typo was edited here) you will end up with a version of me that will be angry at you for destroying Aubrey.